Semblance

I walked into the shopping mall, poise, carriage, intact. Smile well plastered on my face. Lost a little weight and definately wore a head turner and killer heels even though my shopping would not exceed my stipulated budget I was sure to shop, window shop and savour all the attention I would be getting.

overwhelmed

I had double checked already, it was going to be a good day. Even the weather forecast agreed with me, bright sunny day they claimed. More reason to pick my fendi sunshades to complete the cheeky look.

A smile for the security detail, I walked into the mall.

 Picked my shopping cart and was ready to achieve my major objective; get noticed. Slowly I made my way, starting from the groceries, I saw a cute family of three plus one. The pregnant wife smiling as their little son wanted to pick almost everything. The husband tried to control the busy son as he let out a loud NO whenever he was told to drop any item that was not required. Tears welled up in my eyes, still managed a faint smile for them but quickly drove my cart away to toiletries.

I had to notice two young teenagers chatting about their boyfriends with the greatest abandon. Each talking about the special attribute they loved in their beaus, I smiled inwardly they are yet to understand what dating and a relationship fully means, when there is a clash in ideals, ideas and personal differences. They smiled at me and went about complementing my dress and make up. One even claimed she would want to be like me when she grows up; if only she knew what lies beneath the smile. I wheeled my cart not wanting to imagine the scenario she so much wanted.

Heart beating faster I headed towards the wine and spirit section there I saw a picture of myself. I met a loud over bearing lady with her assistant, the poor guy was struggling to keep up with her endless information about her ex boyfriends and why she has to drink to the sack of another lover. She was surely single and did not love it even though she claimed she loves her life now. Dressed in everything expensive and still looking slutty I frowned looking quickly for a mirror or anything that reflects to ensure am not her look alike. I just left my cart with nothing in it and drove home distraught.

Tears coming down my eyes I heard 'all by myself' playing on my radio. I really thought it was going to be a good day.

Back in my bed I knew what made me cry, seeing different semblance of what I wished to be, was and could be if not already disillusioned like the last lady I encountered.