Between giving in and giving up

The awkward moment when a boyfriend prospect meets with an arrogant ex...Unspoken words were exchanged as verbal ones were shot at each other.  The lady with the sparkler banged her fist on the table and stormed out as Nigel finally retreated, but with a warning “I would be back”. Suddenly I felt sick, the tears and gibberish kept flowing with ease. Now seated he took a close look at me as I struggled to regain my composure he urged me to take my time saying “I have seen your best and worst moments, please let it flow” after emptying my reservoir tank of tears, I asked him to take me home. Goodbyes were said; he hesitated briefly and said “I don’t give up without a fight”. I settled into bed still wearing my LBD and called Lameh, after the long phone conversation I came to a realization. I wasn’t in love with Nigel, I was just afraid of him, like a servant I was his loyal maid. So many attitudes that I couldn’t manage and I still felt he still has no regard for women. He showed that in the way he related to his fiancé. And as for me been a cougar, I doubt that would happen. He his strong willed and the arrogance was a turn off. Fine, he apologized, ate his humble pie but that would be for how long? I was still going to be his pun. My company works for him. His eerie love for digging up about one’s life is not what I appreciate. The power he has seems to overrule him many a time. Much as the disappointment that I have had, I have not given up on finding love. For now I am just happier to be back to me. I don’t have to force love and give up myself or give up on me to find love….I definitely enjoyed the whole adventure but it has come to a halt.

Nostalgia

"Then go on a date, since eight years is a big deal to you. Tell him off calmly over dinner" Lameh has an aggressive way of making one see reasons with her. She is always right most of the times but I just wanted her to speak calmly to me. Before I could respond to her words...it was a loud noise I heard. She banged the door after her and was out of my apartment already. Spontaneous.

I shook my head. Its not ego that is stopping me from going on a harmless date with the lad. In fact I have always walked on the wild side of life. I picked my phone and replied yes to the message. I can rid myself a bit of boredom and tension. I walked to my wardrobe and let out a heavy sigh, what will I wear. I thought of playing it safe and then decided to choose my LBD(little black dress) they say a girl can never go wrong in it.

Exactly 7:30pm, my bell rang and a chauffeur stepped out, eager to usher me into the vehicle. I tried out a smile but felt silly. In my twenties, going out on dates was fun, but I just keep feeling I'm too old for all these fantasies. I stepped out of the car and two men were waiting to usher me in. I smiled now and it was real. They escorted me to  a quiet corner, a table for two. The ambiance was out of this world. Suddenly I wanted to look better, thank God I had my makeup bag . I rushed to the ladies and touched up my makeup. On my way trying to negotiate the smoking section from the non smoking section I bumped into a man. I hurriedly said sorry but was pulled back. With mouth ajar, it was Nigel. "Thought I would never see you again" and I felt like a  heavy weight was placed on my head. He had always being the calm type, he never crumbles under pressure, a smooth operator. Six years gone and I still feel like a child under his grasp. "which way to your table" my knees were shaking and I blamed myself for the little number I was wearing as I could hear my heart beat by itself. I felt a cold stare following us, turned back briefly, I couldn't make the face out.

I dated Nigel while in Post grad school, but it was a volatile relationship. We loved each other too much,while I was impatient he was insensitive. It was difficult, I was quick to assume and he took ages before making up his mind hence appearing confused and bereft of ideas to me.  We quarreled, made up, broke up, got back together and we both felt the best was to be apart. Immediately after school, I changed my numbers, severed contacts with some friends,traveled back to Nigeria and I had thought it was over.

Now seated, I strained my eyes and met with a steely look from a lady. I could see a sparkler on her left hand.

"You look beautiful"  Now seated he held my left hand, entranced my eyes with his and the tears just kept rolling down . "I remember when I was driving and told you we were missing, you got so scared and started crying. I told you to stay in the car while I go and search for help. Then I later came back to get u..

"and you led me to where you wrote you love me wit petals on the road. But I also remember the many times, I would come over to visit and you were sleeping, you even slept in between our conversations. I would call your line and it was always going into voice mail, would call and then you would say busy, tired...."

"but we loved each other...."

"but we caused each other lots of pains, you never understood. You were non nonchalant. Who is she, she has been looking in our way all through"

" Forget about her Cece. An engagement ring does not translate to marriage. Cece, we still love each other. We can work around our complexities, run with me.."

 "We broke up thrice, I came here on a date, a lot has happened and.."

"and it is time you left". I froze on my seat. He was in company of his body guards. Looking squarely at Nigel he said " You lost her thrice, I wont lose her if given half a chance"

Love me, Love my dog

Heaven knows I was in trouble, it poured and did not cease. Goosebumps was all over my body and I tried hugging myself to rest alittle before my alarm rings. I found it hard to sleep, kept pacing up and down hugging myself and trying to imagine what the day would have for me. I even thought of imaginary questions that would be thrown at me. I was scared of the unknown.

When it was 7am, I called in sick for the day but was stunned when a call came through from the office saying I could take the week off. I felt tensed, what if its the company's mild way of easing me out of employment. I was tensed, this is the only thing that keeps me alive. My life is pretty boring and work is a form of socialisation and puts food on the table as well. Would they want to fire me because my emotions got the better of me? I shook my head as I imagined that little lad mock me with his last laugh telling me he holds the money hence has the ace.

Lameh called but I just knew its not time for me to chat about what is bothering me, I rather sort this out myself. By 2pm, I recieved a knock on my door. A delivery man with a bouquet of wild and orchid flowers smiling sheepishly at me. It felt like a scene from a movie, he asked for my name and I signed. The scent was lovely and in it I found a note that read "Teach me to woo you my lady. Love me,Love my dog"And I froze, he never gives up a fight.

Battle of Wills

Sorry fellas, I had not been available for a week now. Had to take time off alone to think. I would be resuming today and I am scared of what might happen. The below is the concluding story of my Greek gift.

I let out a sigh and was totally overwhelmed by what had just happened. I couldn't comprehend someone spending that much time studying me. I felt violated, he knew everything about me and walked out like it was a harmless discussion he had with me.

Now on his private jet he barely turned to look at me. I can’t even say he has interest in me, everything he said was so vague, and I can’t pin him down with his statement. I love being in control, that has always been my strong point but right now I feel like am losing the plot. My earlier decision was to hunt down this prey of mine, so what if he is a spoilt kid with lots of money.  Who cares if he is my boss and everyone coos and woo him at every opportunity they get. I made up my mind...I ain’t going to be a walk over; cougar mode activated.

We finally touched down at Calabar and I made it a point of reference not to look at him. I strolled out and made few calls, called an agent and booked a room at the resort we would be staying. Also chattered a cab that would drop me at the resort. I went for a drink; smiling to myself I touched up my makeup. And then a hefty man walked up to me, "we have been waiting...” "And tell your boss to run along, I would meet him there. Please quote me"

I smiled, trying to imagine the look on his face when he receives my newsworthy command to him. My bank account is going to suffer for this little adventure but it’s worth it.

I was now in a meeting with his Personal Assistant when he breezed in and asked the young lady to excuse us. I stiffened a bit and he just sat looking at me without saying a word. I was suddenly limp, losing control I barked out “for how long are you going to continue this charade kid, my company may sack me as a result of not getting this deal but I could care less. I am done. I have booked my flight to Lagos and I find your little hobby of checking up on people creepy” My heart was tumbling within me but I had to do what I had to do. 

I really hope my week would turn out well...