Heartache....Doc can you help?

I don’t like visiting the clinic; the smell of drugs, the haste during emergency, the apprehensive look from concerned relatives, the stillness when there is a bad news and of course the all white saintly colour that makes a sinner like me feel like purging. I came to see my little nephew who broke his toe and was brought to the clinic, David was going through so much pain but like a brave soldier his little hands held mine and managed a faint smile, with that I stood up unable to bear the emotions in me  I went to find myself a quiet place to weep when I  suddenly felt a hand across my shoulder as I opened my eyes to a bubbly aristocratic lady who should be in her fifties smile down at me

I trembled and her poodle winced at me as she held on firmly to the poor thing and said “every mother needs a comforting hand while crying”, I adjusted myself and apologised for disturbing her in  any form “oh dear come off it, my hearty congratulations! You are expecting one at last , am so happy for you, tears of joy, you know I had to wait three and half years and fifteen agonising days for my first baby in marriage and.....” “Ma I’m not pregnant and neither am I ....” “I understand, after my third child I was told by specialist I couldn’t give birth again, I cried my eyes out and he was not even there to comfort me, this must be dejavou, poor dear...” I summoned all the last in me to give this overbearing lady an answer once and for all as I said “ Madame, I don’t have any medical problems and I’m not divorced, widowed or married, neither am I planning to get married and before you say anything else and make ridiculous conclusions I’m a 34 year old single marketing officer that came to the clinic to check her younger sisters boy, who broke a toe and I do not regret being single!”

Colour drained off her face as she said “I know you don’t need my sorry so I won’t say it, besides now is not the time for self pity or condemnation. I still relish my single years you know, the chase guys give ..............and” her phone rang “I hate being interrupted” she said but swiftly changed her voice to a low sultry tone as she expressed her desire to be with a particular baby boy.

Feeling I had an advantage I asked “your husband” her hand froze as she managed to still the poodle on her laps as pain took over her face “No, that could never be, he is always on the move, gallivanting and sowing his wild oats where he pleases, the land is always green for him but I could care less, he sends money to my account, I have a say in all of his companies, I remain the only legal wife and to my knowledge  my children are well secured in his will, so I don’t give a damn if he continues skirt chasing ,drug pushing ,reckless drinking and wife battering. if you are as curious as I am you would want to know why I cheat” I held her by her shoulders looking for words to comfort her but could not find any “because you can’t give what you don’t have” a small voice said within me and I just started crying as she continued “for my body damages, I could wear expensive clothes, for tears; I could drink and smoke away the pains but not with my heart. With the bed ever lonely and the natural craving of being desired welling up within me I looked for warmth in the hands of his trusted lawyer, greed is the bane of human problems and I capitalised on that. Now with my children’s future secured and a little body pleasure, I’ve managed to forget about him  and I hope you are not against my unusual happiness dear” “no, because I understand. But tell me, are you really happy” she held my hands, looked me in the eyes and shook her head as she started crying  “oh, I loved him and I love him so much, but he keeps driving me crazy, I wish, oh dear, how I wish...........” “Madam, the doctor would like to see you now” impulsively I gave her my handkerchief as she straightened, chinned up, feigned a smile and said “so long dear”

“Bye” I muttered.

Its not every fracture the scan sees, its not every smile that is sincere, its not every pain the doctors understand.