Heart Impasse

when do I draw the line....

Kelvin isn’t the regular guy you see around, looking at him you’ll get a striking expression you will never forget in a hurry. Physique, height and wit rolled into one man that forms K.E.L.V.I.N. He can even sweet-talk my dead grand mother to giving life another try with the ease at which he unleashes his customised amazing poetry. Funny thing about Kelvin is the way he uses different words to say the same thing.............simply awesome. He smiles from his heart and with eyes boring deep into you, to know what lies beneath the cover, Kv is simply mind-boggling and he lies with so much ease that when caught he gives a dashing contagious smile that would make you lost. Kelvin is just a sweetheart because sane or insane, any woman with blood flowing in her veins will just feel a natural attachment towards him. He is nature’s gift to us.

I had been hearing about him before I met him and I was secretly staring at his body before fate brought us together. I was at the pool to cool my aching nerves when I first saw him, he walked past me to take a drink by the bar and was so masculine that he naturally got the attention of the ladies at the pool and bar. He walked with so much confidence and had a smile for every lady that came his way. He took a sharp turn and I quickly took a dip in the pool to hide my guilt of staring at a virile male from head to toe. I got out of the pool when it could no longer calm my nerves and I came face to face with Kv, holding two glasses of cocktail he whispered “this will calm your nerves better” I blushed before I realised it and he stretched out his hand as he introduced himself to me “I’m your arch angel and you’re.........” stammering, fidgeting and stuttering as I tried hard to find my voice I replied “Cece”. His smile widened as he reminded me that I would need little warmth as I was still by the pool side, not knowing what to say I faltered as I could only mumble “thank you Mr.........” “Kelvin” he replied with a deep baritone.

I couldn’t believe the fact that he thought I was beautiful and was good to take home at age 30. He never ran out of what to say and he didn’t have to sweat to get my number as we turned friends and became lovers. I loved him with my heart and soul even though I knew he had a major problem.....women..... When Kv is with you for the first time he would treat you like the queen of heaven but after the first day he’ll treat you like a regular...........the others in his life. He never asked me out to make his constant visit to my bed official, the lines just seem to fall in place and I couldn’t refuse the warmth on my bed and glow my skin experienced afterwards. 

I longed for every little moment I could share alone with him. Kv never minced words in letting me know he had other ladies he delivered the service to as he often says “I don’t want a commitment; I don’t want you to suffer, because you’re not the only lady I’m feeling and showing love to” but I couldn’t let go, so I stayed on and kept praying for a miracle.

One night after our usual rendezvous, he asked me out and said I should think seriously about getting married to him; for I’m the only one he is popping the big question to. Kv (40) is a proper chauvinist, filled with ego and male bravado, he told me he wanted the answer to his question immediately but I couldn’t say a word for I was stunned.

1.  To be his official girlfriend.
2.  To be his wife and bear his kids

That was just too much for me to consume and I needed to free my mind and think straight without him looking at me, for he makes me say yes when I mean to really  say no.

Now I’m in a dilemma as I’m thinking of taking Kvs’ offer because I’m 34 and offers like this hardly come my way but I know his leopard hardly changes its spots and he would always love and keep his ladies............and  I don’t want to want to die young. I want to get married to Kv, but not in exchange for a heart attack, my whole mind is turning as I’m between the devil and the deep blue sea. Getting married to Kv will make me the envy of all ladies but I would have a weak heart that would remain incurable due to Kelvin’s penchant for women of different shapes sizes and colour..........